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Author Topic: How will you feel if you find out that your wife of 5yrs is a gamble addict?  (Read 2648 times)

Offline Didia Sofunichi

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How will you feel if you find out that your wife of 5yrs is a gamble addict?
A lot of gamblers tend to conceal their gambling escapeds. After years of success marriage, love and commitment you ask your wife to bring the money you were sprayed during your wedding that you asked her to keep and she opened up to you how gambling has drained the money.

What will be your reaction?
For me this situation will end so badly for her of course because I don't like secrets in a marriage especially it was all about the hard earned money based on that scenario but if it was her own then a break up would be a solution.

Gambling is not a crime under the Nigerian law. Personally I will forgive and give her a second chance. There are crimes married men will not for and I don't think gambling is part of it.

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How many households are broken because of lack of communication caused by several things. Even in any relationship communication is very important, good and bad must be resolved through communication.

It is very true, bears will always be like that with communication, sometimes we as men can let things go, we do not give them so much importance, but the fact of hiding those types of things is different, if one does something minimal, not with the relevance that she did, but hiding other things, at least my wife starts to fight and remind me all the time and Every time she Feels like fighting and that is annoying, so it gets tiring , when she says it I do not Encourage her because I feel that it is Wasting time to fight over silly things, but over big things like that it is a Reason to say that that person is not good for her.
Well, arguing in a household in my opinion is a common thing, in fact it can make a relationship more harmonious. However, what makes the difference is the level of the argument that causes it.

If it is a difference of opinion or small things, I think it is good. However, if it concerns trust, then it is at a level that must be fixed immediately, because the problem will get bigger.

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Gambling is not a crime under the Nigerian law. Personally I will forgive and give her a second chance. There are crimes married men will not for and I don't think gambling is part of it.

Will you trust her after that? Will the level of trust be the same? And would you ask yourself are you blind, because it is hard not to notice that a person you live with gamble, spend money. I am not controlling my wifes finances, but more or less I know how much she earns and how she spends money. Gambling for 5 years, and been an addict, that isnt something like 15minutes gambling session once a month. That is something a person does regularly. If a husband pays so little attention to what his wife does, this isnt good. It shows that he does not care much about her.
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If it is a difference of opinion or small things, I think it is good. However, if it concerns trust, then it is at a level that must be fixed immediately, because the problem will get bigger.

That's right, in this case what she did is something that has a lot of impact and she hid it repeatedly and that means that there wasn't much trust on her part towards him, sometimes those kinds of things, those kinds of details can end a relationship, especially when you're just starting to live with someone, those things are very difficult, when there's something as big as this the level of mistrust is higher, you have to work with a psychologist to help the couple not to separate because it will always be there.
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If it is a difference of opinion or small things, I think it is good. However, if it concerns trust, then it is at a level that must be fixed immediately, because the problem will get bigger.

That's right, in this case what she did is something that has a lot of impact and she hid it repeatedly and that means that there wasn't much trust on her part towards him, sometimes those kinds of things, those kinds of details can end a relationship, especially when you're just starting to live with someone, those things are very difficult, when there's something as big as this the level of mistrust is higher, you have to work with a psychologist to help the couple not to separate because it will always be there.
I will give an example like my trust in someone for example. When someone breaks my trust in them, then it will be very difficult for me to trust, even though they might not do it again.

This is something very sensitive, and for me trust is something that must be maintained. We can also judge someone from things like this, one of which is from how they maintain trust.

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I will give an example like my trust in someone for example. When someone breaks my trust in them, then it will be very difficult for me to trust, even though they might not do it again.

This is something very sensitive, and for me trust is something that must be maintained. We can also judge someone from things like this, one of which is from how they maintain trust.
If that has happened to me, and if so, when someone betrays me, one can let it go, but never in one's life will one treat that person the same way again because it's like that thread that breaks and can never be the same again, and I think that's the most correct thing to do, because if they did it once they are worth doing it again, in my family several members have betrayed me, but I truly treat them because I should treat them, but I will never have the same trust in them as before, it's something that is pitiful, but it's better this way, when I gave them a second chance they did it again and I said no more, so trust is something that is very valuable.

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I will give an example like my trust in someone for example. When someone breaks my trust in them, then it will be very difficult for me to trust, even though they might not do it again.

This is something very sensitive, and for me trust is something that must be maintained. We can also judge someone from things like this, one of which is from how they maintain trust.
If that has happened to me, and if so, when someone betrays me, one can let it go, but never in one's life will one treat that person the same way again because it's like that thread that breaks and can never be the same again, and I think that's the most correct thing to do, because if they did it once they are worth doing it again, in my family several members have betrayed me, but I truly treat them because I should treat them, but I will never have the same trust in them as before, it's something that is pitiful, but it's better this way, when I gave them a second chance they did it again and I said no more, so trust is something that is very valuable.
Yes, that's what will happen, actually we don't hate them, but we become normal, unlike before when our trust in them was still very big.

What we don't like is their nature, not their personality, and that will make us never trust them again. I think this is something very natural when we act like that when our trust in them is betrayed.

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Yes, that's what will happen, actually we don't hate them, but we become normal, unlike before when our trust in them was still very big.

What we don't like is their nature, not their personality, and that will make us never trust them again. I think this is something very natural when we act like that when our trust in them is betrayed.
If that is something that is lost that will hardly come back , because as a person one takes care of oneself, I think that nobody likes to be betrayed and eventually that can be taken as a betrayal and one of the worst that can be done because it is a person that lives with you, and that person probably knows many of your secrets, then after these things the Disappointment can be so great that many would think about leaving someone like that, I think that the basis of everything will always be trust, that is why those who want to betray should think about it.
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Yes, that's what will happen, actually we don't hate them, but we become normal, unlike before when our trust in them was still very big.

What we don't like is their nature, not their personality, and that will make us never trust them again. I think this is something very natural when we act like that when our trust in them is betrayed.
If that is something that is lost that will hardly come back , because as a person one takes care of oneself, I think that nobody likes to be betrayed and eventually that can be taken as a betrayal and one of the worst that can be done because it is a person that lives with you, and that person probably knows many of your secrets, then after these things the Disappointment can be so great that many would think about leaving someone like that, I think that the basis of everything will always be trust, that is why those who want to betray should think about it.
Yes, betrayal is something we hate, especially if it is done by people we already trust very much, because previously we thought they would not do something like that.

Don't be surprised when someone's relationship becomes cracked because of betrayal, maybe even more than that. Yes, because it could be that if that happens, a relationship that was previously fine becomes a relationship that might forget that they previously knew each other.

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It would be a significant betrayal of trust, especially after years of a successful marriage built on love and commitment. This is why you need to think about this situation carefully and think rationally whether you want to continue on this or not. That said, since she is 'family' and family is supposed to help each other especially in such cases (addictions, sickness, problems...), you need to support her until she overcomes this situation as a friend or as a husband.

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How will you feel if you find out that your wife of 5yrs is a gamble addict?
A lot of gamblers tend to conceal their gambling escapeds. After years of success marriage, love and commitment you ask your wife to bring the money you were sprayed during your wedding that you asked her to keep and she opened up to you how gambling has drained the money.

What will be your reaction?

Well in my case back in July of 1990 I confessed to my wife I lost some but not all of my inheritance.

She stepped up big we did a plan of action and 35 years later I still don’t gamble.

I hope the op and his wife can make things work out. I can offer you hope as it did work out for me.
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Well, arguing in a household in my opinion is a common thing, in fact it can make a relationship more harmonious. However, what makes the difference is the level of the argument that causes it.
it is a common thing but one that should not be in my opinion i do not believe that everything needs to be made into an argument if both parties are open and honest then communication is possible without either one getting angry or emotional
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If it is a difference of opinion or small things, I think it is good. However, if it concerns trust, then it is at a level that must be fixed immediately, because the problem will get bigger.
for every argument i think the trust gets chipped away no matter how big or small the argument is and the problems will just continue to arise for the longer you argue

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Well, arguing in a household in my opinion is a common thing, in fact it can make a relationship more harmonious. However, what makes the difference is the level of the argument that causes it.
it is a common thing but one that should not be in my opinion i do not believe that everything needs to be made into an argument if both parties are open and honest then communication is possible without either one getting angry or emotional
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If it is a difference of opinion or small things, I think it is good. However, if it concerns trust, then it is at a level that must be fixed immediately, because the problem will get bigger.
for every argument i think the trust gets chipped away no matter how big or small the argument is and the problems will just continue to arise for the longer you argue

It's common to argue with couples fight about money. It gets worse when one doesn't change after they talk about it and agree to stop gambling.

But normally the husband has participation as to why the wife is gambling. It could be that he gave so much money the wife scrambled to spend or she really is looking for something fun to do because the husband can't give the fun she looks for.


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---
What will be your reaction?
Hmmm, I will request for an annulment immediately. :D
I mean if your wife is a gambling addict then that might be the reason why your life could be miserable, and worst, she might spend the money that you're giving to her like what the OP has shared.

Change? Maybe if your love for her is way important than those secrets, her gambling addiction, the amount of money that she spent secretly then you might still accept her and expect to change, but most will not do that especially if the amount of money that the wife used is too much.

Overall, this is a subjective matter, and it will also depend on the amount of money that she spent in gambling.

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Don't be surprised when someone's relationship becomes cracked because of betrayal, maybe even more than that. Yes, because it could be that if that happens, a relationship that was previously fine becomes a relationship that might forget that they previously knew each other.
Yes, well I will always say something , when a person betrays something is broken that can never be fixed again, something is lost , so when that happens there is nothing to do, maybe one lets it go, but the treatment will never be the same Again , personally if my partner does something like that, I don't think I would trust him or her Anymore, it would be very Uncomfortable, then one will not see that person with that respect , with that commitment that one can give , especially when it comes to money and addictions, which is what requires total support.
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